Beaver and Johnson

Quality apparel of a mature nature.

Our siren calls you to buy our wares

Monogamy Hoodie

Monogamy ain't for everybody and sometimes it works to let the world know. Own who you are and what you want. As the bard said, we're all just animals so let's get to it!

Monogamy is too cruel a rule, hoodie

Sexbot T-shirt

International sexbot regulations require that all sexbots be properly labelled for safety purposes. Make sure your sexbots have their informational quality knit tank top.

Sexbot safety label, tank top

Girl Friday Cap

Support Girl Friday Studios and all their fine work. Show your love and appreciation for the girls with this unique and durable baseball cap, sporting the eye catching Girl Friday logo.

Baseball cap with Girl Friday Studios logo

Cuckold Long Sleeve

Hotwives and cuckolds have got to advertise. And what better way then to have the cuckold demonstrate his devotion and appreciation for his Hotwire by letting the world know she's open for business.

Cuckold husband, ask for my wife's number, long sleeve shirt

Semen Slogan Top

Semen is an important part of any balanced and healthy diet. Our scientists tell us that many people require a daily dose for optimal results. We want to do what we can to make this bright future a reality.

Semen is part of a balanced diet,

Gentlemen Hold Your Hand

Romantic and endearing this particular t-shirt is not just quality blend but also a fine example of quality satire. Because while it appears to endorse casual misogyny in the bedroom, it is in fact a post modern deconstruction of the master slave dynamic and a call-back to the humour of a simpler time.

Good Girls Give Head

Scientific proof is probably unlikely to be found, but we firmly believe that it is in fact the good girls who give the best head. Girls spreading joy and pleasure are doing good work and deserve to be acknowledged. Join us in celebrating their hard work.

Spanked Asses Learn Fastest

The spanked ass learns fast, a timeless motto and metaphor for life. Important to know for proper submissive maintenance. Over the knee, in the traditional way.

Church Of Carnal Knowledge

Official church merch from the elders at the Church Of Carnal Knowledge. Friends and allies to the cause. Spreading the good news, sex is the way.

Get in touch

Your wish is our command within the confines of helping you make good fashion choices and express your self like a champion. Tell us what you need, want or think. We promise to listen. If you want any information on our product range, if you need help with ordering or shipping, or if we can help with absolutely anything else. Anything else fashion or swag related. If you were offended by something you saw here today, let's consider it an important lesson and leave it at that shall we?